I wrote this in an email to my friend, Nancy, regarding my seekingthespark2 blog. We worked together on the Habitat for Humanity Build in Guatemala the fall of 2010.
Dear Nancy – I think I am going to add a category to this entitled something like “Living between the sparks” I get hung up on waiting until something really “sparkly” happens and do not see the proverbial forest through the trees, or is it trees through the forest? I miss opportunities to write because I think it does not quite fit the Spark theme. Let loose the reins Susan! Or maybe I don’t need to add a category at all, just write.
Another wonderful friend, Connie, and I have also discussed this. The tendency to wait for those ultra big moments that I decide fit into the strict parameters of how a “spark” moment should look and feel.
The very creation of this blog serves as a good example. As I played with WordPress and spent hours agonizing over the perfect blog name and theme to use, I created several sites. The original was “seekingthespark.” In my mouse clicking frenzy to get this project set up, I accidentally deleted the wrong site. Acckkkkk! I immediately emailed WordPress support to please make the “seekingthespark” name available again.
I became disturbingly fretful. “Connie, I cannot write a blog if I don’t have the right name or theme!” During one of those frenzied moments, Connie smiled, hugged me and simply kissed the top of my head.
Meanwhile, I created a second blog, you guessed it, “seekingthespark2.” Now WordPress support has indicated they could make the first name available again, but I think I am going to forge ahead. The “2” on the end of the name is a reminder to me that attention to detail, theme, and structure is admirable, yet turns into a bottomless pit of never quite set up correctly,or good enough. The result, my hands remained poised over the keyboard, frozen – hesitant to write.
Let loose the reins Susan!